Where I am a ranty poo-pants.
Ok, so I lied about putting up two posts yesterday to make up. Instead of writing, I fiddled with my layout! How do you like it? No, really, tell me. I'm hot for comments. And the like.
And because I still don't feel like writing (my last - and only - three posts all took over an hour or so to actually write), today is going to be super short, and probably nothing more than a rant bordering on obscene.
Really, though. I don't understand the obsession with the Teen Queens of Hollywood. I'm talking about Paris, Nicole, Linsdsay, and all of those other anorexic, disease-ridden slutbags. Normally, I say let those people do whatever the hell they want, but when there are young (and vapid, probably) teenage girls that look up to them, I start to get pissed off. Now I know it's not their fault for being so famous, and that they should be able to do what the hell they want. But whether they want to be or not, they have a responsibility to uphold. It's exactly the same thing as being a parent. They are now role models to hundreds of impressionable people.
Maybe I'm jealous that I'm not a size 0 or rich and famous, but really, if there are people stupid enough in the world to think that Paris Hilton and Linsday Lohan are hot, or the coolest people EVAH OMGZ, then I say let them be happy in their silly little world full of sunshine and rainbows. Hopefully they don't need drugs like these party freaks do. And there's
no way you can convince me that they're clean.And anyway, don't any of these people have pride? Look at them! 90% of the pictures taken of them show them to be ugly (no, there's no other word for it), sickly, sad, and dressed like whores. Are people so afraid of their wrath that nobody can tell them how horrible they look? I remember reading a story where Lindsay Lohan was at a restaurant and asked the waitress to go to Baskin Robbins (or Coldstone, or somewhere) to get her ice cream. The waitress told her to get it herself.
I would kiss that waitress, were I ever to meet her.
These people really need to be taken off of their pedestal. What has Paris Hilton done, anyway? She's acted a bit, and sings now (By the way - her new single? TERRIBLE!), but besides those mediocre bits of work? Nothing. She's famous simply for being rich and whorish. I certainly hope she doesn't think she's a gem because of that. She's rich and famous because her daddy's rich and (therefore) famous. For God's sake, she doesn't even know the name of her own video game! You'd think she cares about that sort of thing. And don't try to bring up her stints of reality TV. There is no talent required for reality TV.
And poor Lindsay Lohan. Ah, how far you've sunk since The Parent Trap. She was adorable and good in that movie! In Just My Luck? Not a chance. Besides, she was way to young for that part. But I digress. Because she became friends with Paris and that crowd, even with the catfights and perhaps especially so, she's still become a complete void. Everything about her is bad - her looks, her skills, her modeling (ever see "Lindsay Lohan Doesn't Change Facial Expressions"? Classic!). And her hair? Do you know how many people would kill for that red hair? How I would? She should spend an eternity in Hell just for dying it.
And what's sadder than these people? The ones that adore them. Why? Well, really I just think it's those who have issues in their own life. Why do guys think they're hot? Because they're probably lonely in real life for wanting people like Paris. No taste! Girls who wish they were skinnier, or richer, or just plain hate themselves. And honestly? I can't stand people who can't be happy with who they are because of stupid reasons like weight or wealth, so I can't even talk about them anymore.
What about people who can't stand them, like (obviously) me? Why are we just as obsessed? Well, we probably want all the stuff they have, the same as the admirers. Who doesn't? They have the coolest shit! Blackberries, and pink motorcycles, and home movie theatres. I'll admit it: I'm a consumer whore. I want stuff. They have stuff, and I like looking at it. I'd be just as happy looking at a catalogue of random cool shit as I would looking at a tabloid. Would I rather look at the pink RAZR in a Motorola booklet or in the hands of Lindsay?
Lindsay!
Why? Because at the same time I get to drool over spiffy electronics, I can get a self-esteem boost knowing that I'm not her. It's schadenfreude, plain and simple. I feel better about myself by looking at those trainwrecks. Just look at them! They're obviously miserable! And if they're not, it's only because they're ignorant of the shallowness of the life they live. And personally, I'd rather not be an ignoramus myself. And despite them being famous, across the country, and treated as if they're some sort of gods, they're still people. And people are fascinating. We love reality TV because unlike sitcoms or dramas, these are real people being directly affected by the circumstances that they're in. These celebrities, along with every other celebrity, is like a real-life reality TV show. I know, I know. The horror! But it's true. Stephen Johnson, in his book Everything Bad Is Good For You, talks for a great deal about this.
And I won't. Because Anastasia is on HBO Family, and that is a high quality movie. Oh! And an inspiration for my next blog entry:
The Disney Renaissance and Carwreck: What the Hell Went Wrong, and Why We Can Blame Everything Bad In This World On Michael Eisner.
Perhaps this entry will be a nice blend between essay and rant, and sound a lot less like a term paper.
Until tomorrow!
The Devil in the Details
Taylor Lauren Amato
posted by Taylor Lauren @ 7/13/2006 08:24:00 PM
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